Losing my baby broke my heart


Losing my baby broke my heart - but saved my life. Many women reach their 37th birthday with a frisson of anxiety about getting older. But not Penelope Lang. She celebrated hers in June on Brighton beach with champagne, a smile on her face and the dream of living long enough to grow old.

Texts flooded in from friends, but nothing mattered as much as the kisses from her children, Poppy, three, and Austin, 18 months.

'I know some women my age get stressed about getting older, but not me,' says Penelope. 'Because it means I will have the chance to see my children grow up.'


A tragic miscarriage led to her ovarian cancer - known as the silent killer- being picked up


Caught early: Penny Lang with Austin (left) and Poppy. Her tragic miscarriage led to ovarian cancer - known as the silent killer- being picked up in good time

Penelope's experience was typical. The only sign something was wrong was a bloated stomach. But she was one of the lucky ones: a scan for an unrelated problem detected the rapidly-growing cancer early, saving her life.

It all started last September when Penelope, then seven weeks pregnant, experienced some bleeding. As this had happened during her other two pregnancies, she wasn't particularly worried.

Two days later, still bleeding intermittently, she visited her GP, who referred her to her local hospital, Northampton General. A blood test showed her oestrogen levels were low - indicating the pregnancy wasn't viable. Then a scan showed a lump on her right ovary.

The consultant suspected an ectopic pregnancy, where the egg settles outside the womb in one of the fallopian tubes. 'It was bad enough I was miscarrying. But I was also told I'd need surgery to remove the ectopic pregnancy,' says Penelope, a primary school teacher.

'While this could damage my fallopian tube or ovary, he reassured me I could still become pregnant again with just one fallopian tube.

'Having another baby was all that mattered to me. It never occurred to me that, within days, I'd go from worrying about getting pregnant again to fighting for my life.'

Prior to the scan, Penelope had dismissed her persistent bloating as pregnancy-related.

'Although I was only seven weeks pregnant, I looked as if I was three months,' she says. 'I now know this can be a symptom of ovarian cancer.'

The following day, Penelope was back in hospital for keyhole surgery. 'Poppy had chickenpox, so Alastair couldn't even come into the ward with me,' she says.

After she came round, the surgeon arrived at her bedside. The good news was she still had both ovaries and fallopian tubes. The bad news was he'd found a tumour on her right ovary.

The surgeon's next words left her reeling with shock. 'It doesn't look like cancer, but I've sent the tissue off to be examined in the laboratory just in case,' he said.

'It never occurred to me that, within days, I'd go from worrying about getting pregnant again to fighting for my life'

Penelope recalls: 'I was shaking when I rang Alastair, but he was typically calm. And by the time he arrived at the hospital, he was a walking encyclopedia on the subject of ovarian cancer, having scoured the internet. He kept reassuring me that ovarian cancer is extremely rare in women under 50.'

In fact, 10 per cent of cases are women aged under 45.

Nine days after her operation, Penelope and Alastair were in the oncologist's clinic listening to the worst news of their lives. 'I knew the second I walked in the door,' says Penelope. 'The oncologist would not establish eye contact. Then she said the dreaded word "unfortunately".

'Alastair had been so confident, he went into shock. We just sat there, held hands and cried.'

As Penelope battled to come to terms with the diagnosis, she found herself agreeing to a radical hysterectomy, which included removing both ovaries. There would be no third baby.

'It had seemed so important, but now it didn't matter,' she says. 'I just wanted to survive long enough to look after my babies. Poppy wasn't even three, and Austin was barely one.'

Penelope had the operation six days later. Her parents flew in from her native Australia to help with the children. Meanwhile, she faced an agonising two-week wait to see whether the cancer had spread.

Ovarian cancer spreads fast. The majority of women aren't diagnosed until it has advanced to stage three, when it may have spread to the lining of the abdomen, bowel and the aorta.

About 10 per cent are diagnosed at stage four, which means the cancer has spread outside and inside the abdomen. Only 15per cent of those diagnosed at this stage survive for five years.

'I wasn't afraid of dying, but I was frightened of leaving my family behind. I was terrified my children wouldn't remember me or understand how much I loved them.

'I cried at the thought of them not having me as their mummy. Even if I could live for only five more years, it would give them memories to hold on to.'

But the news was good. She had stage two cancer. Cancerous cells had spread throughout the uterus and into the abdomen and other ovary, but they had not spread into her lymph nodes or other organs.

The oncologist believed her tumour had probably been growing for no more than six months. If ovarian cancer is diagnosed early, survival rates are good: cases caught at the earliest stage have a 90 per cent survival rate beyond five years.

'For the first time, I felt positive,' says Penelope. 'I knew what I was dealing with, and I was determined to beat it.'

Five weeks after her surgery, she began the first of six sessions of chemotherapy. The worst part was losing her long red hair. Rather than see it fall out gradually, Penelope asked Alastair to shave her head.

'I just wanted to survive long enough to look after my babies. Poppy wasn't even three, and Austin was barely one'

'Poppy must have sensed I was upset because she lent over and kissed my cheek. Mercifully, she never realised how ill I was. She'd seen the scar on my tummy - it's 15cm long - but I explained that I had a sore tummy and needed strong medicine which would mean I wouldn't have hair for a while.'

By the time her treatment finished on April 1, Penny was too exhausted to celebrate. Since then, she's gradually been regaining her strength and regular blood tests to detect the cancer have been clear.

The blood test - known as the CA 125 test - detects levels of a protein in the blood. A normal woman's should be between zero and 35.

'When I was diagnosed, mine was 74. But women diagnosed much later have readings in the hundreds, even thousands.'

Penelope is aware the chances of a recurrence are high.

'Statistics show there's a high chance of it returning within five years. But I feel I've been given a second chance.

'I've volunteered to be a regional co-ordinator for ovarian cancer charity, Ovacome. When I was having treatment I regularly used their helpline.

'Most of all, I relish every moment with Alastair and the children. The miscarriage undoubtedly saved my life, and I am determined to enjoy every single day.' ( dailymail.co.uk )






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