Who Knew there were Breasts Under that Burka?

Who Knew there were Breasts Under that Burka? - A particularly stunning piece of photography has recently come under attack in Canada from some offended parts of the Muslim world:

An art student who wears Muslim headdress is defending her right to freedom of expression after a photo she snapped was removed from public display at a British Columbia university.

The large black and white print depicts a woman in full Islamic scarf and cloak holding a flower-embossed bra while folding laundry.

...

Not long after it had been hung in the school hallway, she overheard a woman who also wears a head scarf saying she had peeled the artwork off the wall.

...

The 24-year-old photographer, who grew up in small town Northern B.C. and has been studying at the B.C. Interior institution for several years, said the reaction was unexpected.

"I found it really intrusive," she said of the unilateral move to censor her work.

...

Since the incident was made public, an education centre in Kamloops funded by the Saudi Arabian Embassy has gone public with its opposition as well, Graham said.

The photo  is certainly striking. Angelina Chapin notes in Huffington Post Canada that the photo invites a much more extensive discussion about the role that lingerie plays in the Muslim world:

Numbers usually work to calm down hysteria so here are a few: The market for underwear in Saudi Arabia, for example, was US$1 billion a year in 2010, according to Reem Assaad, a banker and financial analyst based in Jeddah. Last year, I wrote a story for Canadian Business magazine titled the "Undercover Economy," about lingerie in the Middle East. What I uncovered was that the industry is thriving there more than it is in North America.

You think Europe is sexy? A 2010 advertisement for Motexha, the Middle East's largest garment, textile, leather and fashion accessories trade event, boasts that the United Arab Emirates and Saudi Arabia account for 77 per cent of Europe's total lingerie exports. At the time I wrote this article -- September 2011 -- La Senza had 44 stores in Saudia Arabia, and 52 others in the Middle East.

Perhaps the most fascinating point that Chapin makes is that in some parts of the Muslim world, the types of undergarments that would have been worn under that niqab would be much more sensational then what showed up in the photo:

Then there are other, darker reasons why women wear lingerie. In Syria, for example, it's common for a man to have multiple wives, and buying sexy undergarments is a way for a woman to gain his favour over the others. As a result, the lingerie markets in Syria (yes, these exist) have bras and panties that would make full-grown North American women blush. Think light-up Tweety Birds on the crotch, buttons you press to hear music, and a lot of feathers. ( thedailybeast.com )

READ MORE - Who Knew there were Breasts Under that Burka?

Depressed women 'have increased risk of stroke'

Depressed women 'have increased risk of stroke' - Women with depression may also be at increased risk of having a stroke, US researchers suggest.

A study of over 80,000 women found those with a history of depression had a 29% increased risk of stroke.

The research, in Stroke: Journal of the American Heart Association, said doctors should be aware people with depression may neglect their general health.

 

Depression could mean people take less care of their health

UK stroke experts said depression alone was unlikely to increase stroke risk.

Indicator The women, all aged 54-79, who were all taking part in the long-running Nurses' Health Study which has been following women across the US since the mid 1970s.

In this study, the researchers looked at data from 2000 to 2006.

None had had a stroke before the study began, while 22% had been diagnosed with depression.

“Start Quote

Women suffering from depression may be less motivated to maintain good health or control other medical conditions” - Dr Peter Coleman The Stroke Association

Compared to women without a history of depression, depressed women were more likely to be single, smokers and less physically active. They were also slightly younger, had a higher body mass index and conditions such as high blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes.

During the course of the research, 1,033 women had a stroke.

As well as the increased risk for those who had been diagnosed with depression at any point, the researchers also found women who had used anti-depressants particularly SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) at any point in the two years prior to the study, was 39% higher.

Bur Dr Kathryn Rexrode, who led the research, said the medicines were more likely to be an indication someone was more seriously ill, rather than a cause of the stroke.

"I don't think the medications themselves are the primary cause of the risk. This study does not suggest that people should stop their medications to reduce the risk of stroke."

She added: "Depression can prevent individuals from controlling other medical problems such as diabetes and hypertension, from taking medications regularly or pursuing other healthy lifestyle measures such as exercise. All these factors could contribute to increased risk."

Lifestyle Dr An Pan of the Harvard School of Public Health, who also worked on the research, said inflammation could be the physical mechanism linking depression and stroke.

But he added: "Regardless of the mechanism, recognising that depressed individuals may be at a higher risk of stroke may help the physician focus on not only treating the depression, but treating stroke risk factors such as hypertension, diabetes and elevated cholesterol as well as addressing lifestyle behaviours such as smoking and exercise."

Dr Peter Coleman, deputy director of research at the UK's Stroke Association, said: "Depression is a very serious condition which needs to be treated carefully by healthcare professionals.

"This research appears to indicate that women suffering from depression may be less motivated to maintain good health or control other medical conditions such as diabetes and high blood pressure, which have an associated increased risk of stroke.

"However, it is very hard to determine whether there is a direct link between depression and stroke risk and a lot more research is needed in this area before depression alone can be viewed as a stroke risk factor.

"It's important that anyone taking antidepressants should continue doing so, and anyone concerned about their overall stroke risk should speak to their GP." ( bbc.co.uk )

READ MORE - Depressed women 'have increased risk of stroke'

What women really want: to marry a rich man

What women really want: to marry a rich man - Women still want to marry men who are better educated and earn more money than them, a report finds today.

The idea that women dislike being financially dependent on men is a myth, with more choosing to “marry up” now than did so in the 1940s, according to Dr Catherine Hakim from the London School of Economics.

Gender pay gap down to women's lifestyle choices

After decades of gender equality campaigning many women now find it hard to admit that they want to be a housewife more than they want a successful career of their own, she said.

The study comes after the Coalition announced a series of measures intended to narrow the pay gap between men and women.

Lynne Featherstone, the Liberal Democrat equalities minister, said large companies could be forced to declare how much more they pay men and announced that firms would be able to use “positive action” to recruit new staff from under-represented groups for the first time.

However, Dr Hakim criticised David Cameron for backing the idea of quotas to ensure that more women gain seats on the boards of leading companies. Men dominate top positions because many women simply do not want long careers in business, she said.

Despite 40 years of reforms to promote gender equality at work, a woman’s financial dependence on a man “has lost none of its attractions”, she said.

In a 52-page report published by the Centre for Policy Studies think tank, Dr Hakim continued: “Women’s aspiration to marry up, if they can, to a man who is better-educated and higher-earning, persists in most European countries.

“Women thereby continue to use marriage as an alternative or supplement to their employment careers.”

Dr Hakim’s research drew on an extensive review of existing studies from around the world, census data, and national surveys conducted in Britain and Spain.

An analysis of figures for Britain shows that in 1949, 20 per cent of women married husbands with significantly higher levels of education than their own.

By the late 1990s, the proportion of women who were “marrying up” had almost doubled to 38 per cent. Similar patterns are seen across much of Europe, the US and Australia.

The widely promoted goal of “symmetrical family roles”, with men and women sharing child-care, housework and employment, is popular among a highly educated, professional elite. But it is “not the ideal sought by most couples”, the report said.

“It is thus not surprising that wives generally earn less than their husbands, and that most couples rationally decide that it makes sense for her to take on the larger share of childcare, and use most or all the parental leave allowance.”

Dr Hakim said many women did not want to “admit” that they were looking for a higher earning partner. They even keep the fact secret from the men they are dating, she said.

“It has become impossible to say ‘I wouldn’t mind being a housewife,’” she said. “It is so politically incorrect that a lot of women don’t want to admit it.”

The report said that the “war” for equal opportunities between men and women was now over in the UK.

The gap in pay between the two sexes has fallen from about 30% in the 1970s to as low as 10% today. Women do now have an equal opportunity to find work, but choose different priorities for their lives.

The report said it was wrong for politicians to expect that equal opportunities would result in equal numbers of women as men in particular jobs. ( telegraph.co.uk )

READ MORE - What women really want: to marry a rich man

Nightline Face-Off: Why Can't a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?

Nightline Face-Off: Why Can't a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?. Sparks, Sincerity, Sass Fill Atlanta Auditorium in Seventh 'Nightline Face-Off'. For as long as there have been movies, music and magazines, there has been the single gal.

Sherri Shepherd, left, and Jacque Reid talk about being successful, black and single at the seventh "Nightline: Face-Off." (Guy D'Alema/ABC News)

Over the years, she has gone from being a punchline to a glamorous, independent icon. Artists like Beyonce Knowles champion "Single Ladies," and movies like "Something New" make the case for successful, single women maintaining high standards.

But in reality, one group of women has found it harder to leverage professional success into the model personal life.

Over the past few decades, black women in America have made historic strides academically and professionally. According to the Journal of Blacks in Higher Education, at least 60 percent of black students who get awarded college degrees are women. Black women make up 71 percent of black graduate students.

But the statistics point to another issue: Many of the women are single.

According to a recent Yale study, 42 percent of African-American women have yet to be married, compared to only 23 percent of white women. There's also a gap in numbers. The 2000 U.S. Census counted 1.8 million more African-American women than black men.

But is the successful, single black woman a matter of statistics, or are there other more controversial factors at hand?

"Nightline" tackled the phenomenon in a piece originally reported by ABC News' Linsey Davis in late 2009. The piece sparked an outpouring of praise and criticism. Some viewers praised "Nightline" for covering an overlooked issue, while others found the topic offensive.

"It is an issue. I'm sorry," said Sherri Shepherd, co-host of "The View" and author of "Permission Slips." Shepherd headlined a panel of successful and single black men and women to debate the issue in the "Nightline Face-Off": Why Can't a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?

"I've had people tweet me and go, 'Here we go again, are we still on this topic,'" said Shepherd. "We will always be on this topic, but I like having it because hopefully, I'll learn something." Shepherd, who is 42, is a single mother who is divorced from a black man. She says she needs a man.

'Nightline Face-Off': Sherri Shepherd on Being Single

"I think for a long time I was like, 'I don't need a man, I'm going to make my own money,'" she said. "Well, I'm trying to raise a boy, and I think he needs a man. ... I would love to have a man in my life to help me raise my son."

Joining Shepherd on the female side was Jacque Reid, star of VH1's "Let's Talk About Pep."

"There are far too many black, wonderful women out there that are single and living alone and have no hope of ever finding a man," said Reid. "And I'd like to give them some hope."

Reid, who keeps her age under lock and key, still hopes that she can find a black man to partner up with.

"I just love how I feel with a black man," she said. "I love black men... I really think that black men and black women need to actually discuss this, and get past all the anger that exists between us."

Both Shepherd and Reid argued that statistics, unfaithful partners, intimidation and stereotypes play a large role in why there are more single black women.

On the other side were two men with an entirely different standpoint.

Hill Harper is an actor on "CSI: NY" and author of "The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting, Relationships." Harper argued that black woman need to date men who show potential, despite their not necessarily having reached it yet.

"I'm very excited and I think it's going to be pretty lively," said Harper. "We're talking about relationships and we're talking about what's going on in the community and a lot of the things that are in my book."

Harper said that black women and men need to learn how to communicate. The risk, he said, was "destroying the black family."

Author and NPR contributor Jimi Izrael joined Harper on the men's side. Izrael is author of "The Denzel Principal," a controversial book that says black women are searching for a prototypical man who only exists in their imaginations.

"Some of them are delusional or some of them are impatient," Izrael said. "The Denzel Principle is just the idea that some women, not all women, have standards for potential mates as to be so high as to find themselves disappointed when looking for men. Because they are looking for this ideal that couldn't possibly exist."

'Nightline Face-Off': Steve Harvey's Expertise

The debate took place at the Porter Sanford Center for the Performing Arts in Atlanta, a hotbed of black culture, style and professionalism. Co-moderating the debate with "Nightline"'s Vicki Mabrey was Steve Harvey, a relationship commentator and author of "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man."

"I'm an expert on the mindset of the male species," Harvey said. "I'm an expert hands down. I understand manhood inside and out."

Almost 1,000 people attended the Face-Off, with as many as 300 people turned away at the door.

"I don't want to go there [as] that bitter black woman. I'm not," said Shepherd, prior to the debate. "I truly want to know what makes black men tick, because if I can figure out what makes you tick then maybe I need to do something differently that's going to make us flow together. I refuse to give in to the fact that there's no good black men out there for me."

"There are single black men too," said Hill Harper. "And they go hand in hand... And they both had different reasons as to why they were single, but it was still, at the end of the day, they're not partnering. [I] wanted to know what's going on and that's really what I wanted to get into this discussion." ( abcnews.go.com )

READ MORE - Nightline Face-Off: Why Can't a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?

Romance, Can It Last?

Romance, Can It Last?. I’m a sucker for romance. I love movies where boy meets girl, boy loses girl and, against all odds, they find their way back to each other. Or films about star-crossed lovers, as in Bridges of Madison County, who return to their separate lives forever changed.

In real life, though, I have learned to be wary of my own longing to be swept away. It’s fun being pursued by an ardent admirer and flattering to be wined and dined in style. But after a few months I ask myself if all this attention leads to anything more than a romp (or two) in bed.

In spite of changing times men are still the hunters – they like to give chase and use all their wiles to win the women they desire. They may want to develop a long-term relationship but sometimes it’s the thrill of the chase they enjoy most of all.

Women, on the other hand, can be lured by romance itself. We want the whole fantasy usually in the form of an attractive, charismatic man who is more successful than us – and that includes “happily ever after.”

In a new relationship we believe a man when he claims to miss us and how he’ll do anything to keep us in his life. If we are physically intimate with him, those potent love chemicals (like pheromones) kick in, making him even more desirable. We offer him our bodies and our hearts. If things have moved too quickly, we may find that the man we are starting to love is no knight. If he wears armour, it is to protect himself, and as complications arise he may very well jump on his horse and ride away.

I find that it takes at least six months to get to know someone. In courtship a man will show you what he assumes you want to see and will do everything in his power to keep your interest. It is difficult for you to judge how sincere he really is.

Here are a few ways to tell if your romance will last:

1. What his actions say

The proof is not in what he SAYS but in what he DOES. Does he call when he says he will? Is he punctual? He may say that he loves you, but does he give you importance in his life– or do things like watching football with the boys get a higher priority?

Too many women make excuses for their men and accept bad behaviour. The truth is, his actions always speak for him. You just need to listen.

2. He pays attention to you

Does he recall how you take your coffee, know your favourite cuisine, and just where you need your back rubbed? Is he quick to offer assistance when you need help or do you have to ask him repeatedly before he steps in? A man who really cares about you will use every opportunity to show it.

3. Who is the focus of conversation?

Do your conversations usually center around him and his concerns? An interested man wants to know everything about you, from how your day went to what is currently on your mind. Does he sound bored or disinterested when you discuss your work or relationship problems? Not a good sign!

Beware, too, of someone who puts you down to build himself up. No matter how “helpful” he appears, pay attention to how his comments make you feel.

4. How he treats others

How does he treat his co-workers, family members, or a stranger asking for directions? Pay particular attention to how he speaks to people who are serving him, such as a waitress in a restaurant. Is he polite or arrogant and condescending? Ouch! This is his true character peeking through.

5. You consider him your friend

Is he only a lover? Or can you turn to him when you need a shoulder to lean on? Romance with friendship at its core has a much greater chance for success.

In the grips of romance, it is easy to be lured by extravagant outings or gifts. However, a man who constantly tries to impress is usually insecure and unable to connect at a deeper level. One day the novelty of getting to know each other will fade and you will be left with each other. What becomes important is how likable your man really is and how honestly you can communicate with each other.

For me romance can only last if I perceive my partner as a confident and considerate person whom I can trust. He must prove that he cares by his actions, whether he calls just to hear the sound of my voice or makes time for me in his hectic schedule.

With the right man, I feel loved and appreciated – and that’s fertile ground for romance. ( loveletterbox.com )

READ MORE - Romance, Can It Last?

Women happier at work than men

Women happier at work than men. The world of work is a better experience for women than men, according to a survey. Asked to rate their job satisfaction on a scale of one to seven, they scored an average 5.56 while males scored 5.22.

Experts are divided over the reasons why women appear to get more out of their work than men. Professor Andrew Oswald, of the University of Warwick, who carried out the survey, said: 'There is a wide ranging debate on why women enjoy work more.

'Some say they are just cheerier than men. But it could also be that their aspirations are lower.' He pointed out that many women worked part-time and shared jobs, which the survey found increased job satisfaction.

'This is one of the interesting findings of the report. The score difference may seem slight but it represents a strong finding,' he added.

Ruth Lea, head of policy at the Institute of Directors, said: 'Part of the problem for men is that expectations are higher for them. When women succeed it is seen as a victory, but for men it is expected. This puts pressure on them.

'Add to this that they are the major breadwinner and stick with many jobs because they have to for their family, then the pressure is even more.'

Overall, older workers get the greatest satisfaction from their jobs while university graduates are the most dissatisfied of all, according to a survey of 30,000 employees.

The survey found employees generally enjoyed their first years at work. Job satisfaction then dipped between the ages of 30 and 40. But employees over 60 years of age gained greatest satisfaction from their work.

Professor Oswald said: 'The young are happy to have a job. But as they grow older they realise ambitions may not be fulfilled so easily. 'We all start off thinking we will be captain of England or a Nobel prize winner but we adjust. The older we get, the more settled and content with our role at work we get.'

Graduates often felt frustrated that they were overqualified for the job they were doing, the survey found.

Many were forced to take lowskilled jobs to pay off debts from their university days. Others found the competition for the best jobs was greater than they expected.

The survey also revealed that Britain's culture of working long hours had not turned people off their jobs. Most British employees were satisfied at work even though they were under more pressure than ten years ago.

The survey found 80 per cent felt satisfied, very satisfied or completely happy at work. Just one in 50 employees said they were not satisfied at all with their job.

This enjoyment of work apparently over-rode an increase in stress levels at work over the last ten years, measured by mental distress and psychological ill health.

There were other checkpoints for a happy working life. Those working in the public sector, for example the NHS, were more dissatisfied with their jobs than those in the private sector.

Employees of small businesses and non-profit making organisations, such as charities, were happier at work than those working for big companies.

A third of Britain's employees, or six million people, work in small firms. Nine in ten employers have fewer than ten staff.

David Hands, of the Federation of Small Businesses, said: 'There is a greater camaraderie in small firms than in big companies where people may feel at risk of being stabbed in the back.

'It is more relaxed in small firms and people enjoy it more. Many also get more responsibility which adds to their satisfaction.' ( dailymail.co.uk )

READ MORE - Women happier at work than men

Britain the abortion capital of Europe: Terminations for teenagers leap by a third

Britain the abortion capital of Europe: Terminations for teenagers leap by a third. More abortions are carried out in Britain than any other country in Europe, research has shown.

It has overtaken France - which has a larger population - to become the abortion capital of the continent.

The rising rate has been pushed up by abortions among teenage girls, which increased by nearly a third over the past decade.

Half of all pregnancies among girls under 18 in Britain end in abortion.

Anti-abortion campaigners said the figures were an indictment of the Government's teenage pregnancy strategy.

An increase in terminations among teenagers has seen Britain's abortion rate rise (Posed by model)

The figures, collated by a European pressure group, showed that the 219,336 abortions carried out in England, Wales and Scotland in 2007 topped the 209,699 in France to put Britain at the top of the abortion count for the first time.

Both countries remain far ahead of the other nations where abortion is frequent, including Romania, at just over 150,000, Italy, with 127,000, and Spain, 112,000.

Abortion numbers are rising fastest in Spain, but from a much lower base than in Britain.

By contrast, abortion numbers in France have remained virtually steady for the last ten years.

The figures were collated by the Institute for Family Policies from those collected by the European Union's statistical arm Eurostat.

The Norway-based pro-family pressure group presented them to the European Parliament yesterday as part of a report on developments in family life.

It said the annual number of abortions in the EU equals the combined population of its ten smallest member states.

More than half occurred in Britain, France and Romania.

Britain was the country where most teenage girls have abortions - 48,150 abortions among girls under 20 in 2007 against 31,779 in France.

The group said of the overall figures: 'Declines in Germany and Italy, and stagnation in France, are remarkable.'

Britain now ranks fifth in the world for the number of abortions, behind Russia, the U.S., India and Japan.

Abortion campaigners blamed Labour's policies, and in particular its Teenage Pregnancy Strategy, based on promoting sex education and contraception.

Phyllis Bowman of Right to Life said: 'These are not surprising figures.

The Government is not so much running a Teenage Pregnancy Strategy as a Teenage Abortion Strategy.

Conceptions are not going down and abortion is going up, exactly the reverse of what was supposed to happen.

'Britain will continue to have record abortion levels until ministers recognise the idiocy of these policies.'

The Teenage Pregnancy Strategy has cost more than £300million.

But in 2007 pregnancies among girls under 18 in England and Wales went up, not down, and targets for halving 1998 conception levels by next year appear far beyond reach.

Teenagers who become pregnant are increasingly turning to abortion.

Many of them are thought to be girls who aspire to education and a career rather than a life of single motherhood on benefits.

Ministers said yesterday they believe abortions and conceptions among teenagers are set to fall.

Children's Minister Dawn Primarolo said: 'The trends in the data for 2008 and under-18 conception data for the first two quarters of 2008 give me confidence that we will see a return to the downward trend established between 1998 and 2006.'

• The NHS is wasting millions on an ineffective programme to screen young adults for a sexually-transmitted disease, auditors warned last night.

Last year, £42million was spent - of which £17million was wasted because managers are paying too much for chlamydia tests, said the National Audit Office.

Of those who are tested, one in eight may never receive treatment - putting others at needless risk of developing the condition.

Six years after the programme was launched the rates of chlamydia, which can cause infertility in girls, are still rising.

Only around half of health trusts are testing enough young people to have a significant impact on the rate.

The report says the failure to make progress is largely down to a lack of support from GPs - because chlamydia screening is not part of their performance-related pay scheme. ( dailymail.co.uk )

READ MORE - Britain the abortion capital of Europe: Terminations for teenagers leap by a third

The man I loved is dead

Lauren Booth thanks God her husband survived a horrific motorbike crash but confesses: The man I loved is dead...

My mobile phone was ringing. It was 1.30am and I was struggling to wake up.

Maybe I wouldn't answer it. Something made me reach out into the darkness. 'Mrs Darby?' 'Yes?' 'It's the police.

'Your husband's had an accident. Can you tell us how to reach you from the village?'

The next hour passed in slow motion. Two policemen appeared at the front door. It was pouring with rain.

Lauren Booth, pictured with husband Craig, says she is now like thousands of others - a carer, the sole earner and married to a disabled husband

The lie; 'he's fine, fine', followed by an exchange of looks that made my flesh creep.

The date is forever etched on my mind: April 24, 2009. Dazed, I invited the two officers inside.

Six years earlier, Craig and I had stood on the very same threshold, looking forward to starting our new life in our beautiful farmhouse in the Dordogne. Had our dream come to a tragic end?

I invited the officers into the living room. They told me that Craig - who had been to a birthday party in our village - had somehow come off his motorbike.

Later, I found out he had swerved and hit a post. To this day, we don't know why.

I managed to make them coffee. Eventually they stood up to leave. After a series of (false) assurances, one of them said: 'Actually, your husband's in a coma, he has a serious head injury.'

Then they handed me a bag of his clothes and left. My husband's leather jacket, shredded across the arms and chest.

His jeans, soaking wet, torn from ankle to hip. His T-shirt, still smelling of aftershave, rags. Craig had left the scene of the accident with his clothes cut away. In a coma. I was too shocked to cry.

I needed to hold the man I had loved for two decades in his hour of great need. I had to tell him I still loved him - despite everything.

Lauren and husband Craig smile for the camera before his accident while in the South of France

You see, we hadn't been happy before the accident. We'd been together 20 years and married for nine, but the previous six months had been one long crisis.

Nothing seemed to work, and even an innocent opening gambit of 'do you want a tea' seemed to end in a 'we should talk' nightmare.

Craig - I found out much later - had gone a good way down the legal route towards filing for a divorce.

For my part, our increasingly bitter arguments had led me down the altogether cheaper (and more cowardly) route of changing my Facebook status from 'married' to 'single'.

It was a childish act and one, naively, I expected no one to notice. But inevitably news spread through our small French town and Craig was teased by a local while enjoying a drink.

He was not pleased. We were in marital limbo. A hellish place of lingering love and hateful indecision.

But now Craig's life was at risk and I knew only that I loved him absolutely. We were not going to be parted like this.

By 4am, I still had no idea where exactly Craig was. He wasn't at our local hospital and endless phone calls got me nowhere.

At daybreak, dazed and not knowing whether he was dead or alive, I crawled into bed beside the children. When the news came, it was not good.

Craig had been taken to a specialist hospital two hours away. He was in a profound coma, had a serious brain injury and had fractured the top vertebrae of his spine. He might not survive the next 24 hours.

Uncertain future: Lauren with her daughters Alex, eight, and Holly, six, as they wait for Craig to recover in France

Seeing Craig utterly still, shaved bald, in the emergency ward, I sensed he wasn't going to die. But I had no idea what lay ahead.

One thing was clear; our happy life in France was over. We'd moved to the Dordogne with our baby daughters, Alex and Holly, in 2003.

Our farmhouse was rustic, the garden full of wonders, and after a year we even had a pool fitted which completed the 'dream'.

We'd met at drama school in 1989 and had a joyfully passionate affair. We had huge fun together.

Perhaps that's why I was so optimistic when Craig first opened his eyes in hospital.

Naively, I thought the worst was over when he first smiled, tubes protruding from his nose, throat and brain, and managed to lisp: 'I love you.' The fact he recognised me and was able to speak filled me with elation.

Back in those traumatised weeks in May and June, I was unaware that the man I had known for 20 years was effectively dead.

Or that soon, another Craig, one I had never met before but who now inhabited his body and mind, would be returning home.

Obviously, Craig's doctors were French - and although I have a good command of the language in everyday terms, following his treatment programme was difficult.

Status - happily married: Lauren with husband Craig in Australia before his motorbike accident

He was in a coma for two weeks - it took him a month to get out of bed. He was partially-sighted as a result of lesions on his brain.

The day after he emerged from the coma, he was clearly in pain and yanked the tubes from his throat.

When nurses said his recovery would be slow, Craig sat up and tried to climb off the bed to prove them wrong.

Within just six weeks, he was walking unaided and holding short conversations. He learned to feed himself, to dress and to use sentences again.

I was proud that my tough husband - a former paratrooper - was doing just what I had known he would do; reject wheelchairs and force himself to walk ever longer distances despite his spinal injuries.

Here and there came flashes of the charming wide boy I had fallen in love with. Like the time he reached towards a rather well endowed nurse's cleavage, giving us both a very sweet wink as his hand hovered mid air.

When she slapped his hand away, he said in a clear Craig-like laugh: 'Well, can't blame a patient for trying.'

But even in those early days, deep down I sensed that I didn't have Craig back in his entirety.

What I didn't realise then was that he would never return. It's funny the things you miss in a person. With Craig it was his practicality, his patience and his strength that I found myself yearning for.

Family life: Lauren and Craig with their children Alexandra, left, and Holly

The way he would rugby tackle me in the garden if I was sulky. Saving me at the last moment from certain injury magically rolling me to one side, my only ache around my middle from the entirely begrudging laughter.

And the passion. Well, it had remained all-encompassing - despite our differences - irritatingly so, right up to the week of the accident.

We didn't have to be getting on to have an incredible relationship in private. We were each other's 'grand' passion, and the passage of the years, not to mention his broken nose and my love handles, hadn't changed that at all.

Three months after the accident, Craig came home. It was my 42nd birthday and I was delighted.

I was meant to pick him up, but he'd arranged for a neighbour to collect him to surprise me. He could walk - five or ten steps without becoming confused - and he was able to talk.

I knew then that he needed me and the girls to get him on the road to recovery. All other thoughts about our relationship went out the window.

Even now, I can't engage with thoughts about the fact that we might have divorced before the accident. I've had to focus on his recovery.

I can't address our relationship problems consciously or subconsciously. There are more important things at stake.

Before the accident,

living with my husband had become like sharing a home

with an aggressive, energetic, sulky and highly-sexed teenage lover.

Now I find myself caring for a sweet, generous,

charming (did I say sweet?), affectionate little brother.

If I started thinking about all of that I just wouldn't get out of bed in the morning. And if I don't get out of bed - if I waver for a second in my smiling confidence - Craig drops into such a depression it's frightening.

As to whether or not we'll stay together, it's like trying to see the end of the universe - it's impossible right now.

I have focussed on seeking answers as to what to expect from Craig long-term.

Websites devoted to brain trauma advice are full of upsetting case studies. I have learnt that any brain function you care to mention can be disrupted by impact trauma.

The emotions are commonly affected, movement can be impaired, memories lost and so much more which only becomes clear as time wears on.

Again the doctors were perfunctory with their advice, telling me that there would be a day when their work would be done and mine and my family's would begin.

On Craig's first night home, despite his utter exhaustion, he insisted on cooking a meal - duck in red wine sauce - for me.

He'd always been an extraordinary cook, but, as he shut the oven door, he turned to me, looking lost, depleted. I'd never seen him look like that before - like a child who'd lost his parents at the supermarket.

Feeling a cold pang of disappointment, I led him to the bedroom for a nap. He fell into bed, saying: 'Thank you so much for understanding - don't know why I feel so tired.'

It was only the tip of the iceberg. A month after Craig's return home, I was back online, seeking advise for the mounting, emotional 'symptoms' that Craig had begun to exhibit.

Lauren Booth with husband Craig and daughters in Australia

They included excessive sleepiness, depression, irritability, emotional outbursts, disturbed sleep and diminished libido.

In general, symptoms of traumatic brain injury should lessen as the brain heals. But sometimes the symptoms worsen because of the patient's inability to adapt to the brain injury.

For this and other reasons, it is not uncommon for psychological problems to arise. Major depression is common after such a trauma. Feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness can rapidly descend on the brain injured.

Looking back, Craig slipped into depression soon after returning home. It was the summer holidays and he'd wanted to drink beer with his friends in the evening, but his anti-epilepsy drugs didn't allow it. 'Just one?' he'd plead with me.

And then there was the fact that the children, sensing his fragility, never called to him for help. It was always: 'Mummy, Mummy, Mummy.' It broke my heart when he said: 'They don't need me any more. I'm useless.'

As for me, I struggled with the fact that Craig, quite simply, wasn't himself any more.

Craig had been the optimist. He could diminish petty arguments and light up a room. He'd always been fabulously brave, hating 'whingers'. But the new Craig was full of fear and anxiety.

Five months after the accident, the girls and I encouraged him to have a swim - on the advice of the doctors.

Despite the 40 degree heat, he stood, thin and shuddering on the diving board, eyes wide with anxiety. I had to look away. I broke down into silent sobs, as I realised my husband would never be the same again.

Later, I would learn that even his most basic likes and dislikes had changed. For example, before the the crash, in two decades I had never heard Craig pass wind.

He thought it gross, improper in front of women and it was the only thing he didn't like about hanging out with rugby-playing peers, who found the subject childishly amusing.

Now, he makes jokes about it all the time. It's the slapstick humour thing I've read about, where brain injuries block out subtleties in facial expressions, vocal tones, and jokes, too. A kind of social autism.

Six months on, every day is an uphill struggle. On top of my usual workload, I now have to manage a partially-sighted husband, the bills, my job, the children and paperwork. There are frequent frights to deal with.

Recently, Craig had a specialist appointment regarding his neck injury.

We had just parked when he got out of the car, smashed into the car side and collided with the children. He told me he was now totally blind except for a tiny keyhole of light in his right eye.

The girls and I took his arms, guiding him up stairs, into lifts, finally into the specialist's office.

The doctor took one look at Craig and talked about psychiatric help. His blindness was not a physical problem, but a temporary one caused by stress and a fear of doctors.

And then there's the fact that his passion has quelled - replaced by gentle affection.

When he sleeps during the day, sometimes for hours at a time on the sofa, so he can be in the same room as me, I lay a warmed towel on him to give him comfort.

I cook curries to remind him of better times and I try to shield him from the worries of daily life.

But we have great laughs together. When I cut his nails and gather the pieces into a towel on my lap, he asks: 'What are you going to do with those?'

I reply: 'Make them into a cake.' And instead of passionate afternoons of love, we laugh at disgusting bodily functions.

But looking on the bright side - and you have to look on the bright side when you find yourself in the role of caring for an adult - the man I now live with, with his diminished eyesight, is utterly convinced that: a) I am 'almost too skinny'; b) young; and c) utterly gorgeous!

And I must say there is a lot about the new Craig that's adorable.

Before the accident, living with my husband had become like sharing a home with an aggressive, energetic, sulky and highly-sexed teenage lover.

Now I find myself caring for a sweet, generous, charming (did I say sweet?), affectionate little brother.

The children meanwhile appreciate New Dad. He lets them watch as much TV as possible and he spends hours playing games with them.

I am trying to find a way of being thankful for many of the changes to Craig's character. Not to deny what happened to him, but to deal with it.

His latest brain scan last week told us the physical lesions are healing but remain severe.

His neck is perfect and his back will always cause him some pain. He will never play rugby again, he can't run or work for another six months. He is partially blind and in constant pain.

It has taken this long to come to terms with the fact my husband is dead. The Craig I knew - the adventurer who knew no pain, who was full of hope for the future - never made it out of intensive care in Bordeaux.

That man's spirit fled the shattered body on the hospital bed.

In any long relationship there comes a time when a partner will look at the other and wonder: 'If I met you now - would I like you?'

Today, this question rumbles around my brain, unwanted, painful, testing my commitment.

Before, I was an independent wife, able to work away from home. I was in a passionate relationship.

Now, like thousands of others, I am a carer, the sole earner, married to a disabled husband, who may suffer long-term emotional problems.

I miss my dead husband, his passion and bravery. I am slowly learning to love the new one. (dailymail.co.uk )

READ MORE - The man I loved is dead

Losing my baby broke my heart

Losing my baby broke my heart - but saved my life. Many women reach their 37th birthday with a frisson of anxiety about getting older. But not Penelope Lang. She celebrated hers in June on Brighton beach with champagne, a smile on her face and the dream of living long enough to grow old.

Texts flooded in from friends, but nothing mattered as much as the kisses from her children, Poppy, three, and Austin, 18 months.

'I know some women my age get stressed about getting older, but not me,' says Penelope. 'Because it means I will have the chance to see my children grow up.'

Caught early: Penny Lang with Austin (left) and Poppy. Her tragic miscarriage led to ovarian cancer - known as the silent killer- being picked up in good time

Penelope's experience was typical. The only sign something was wrong was a bloated stomach. But she was one of the lucky ones: a scan for an unrelated problem detected the rapidly-growing cancer early, saving her life.

It all started last September when Penelope, then seven weeks pregnant, experienced some bleeding. As this had happened during her other two pregnancies, she wasn't particularly worried.

Two days later, still bleeding intermittently, she visited her GP, who referred her to her local hospital, Northampton General. A blood test showed her oestrogen levels were low - indicating the pregnancy wasn't viable. Then a scan showed a lump on her right ovary.

The consultant suspected an ectopic pregnancy, where the egg settles outside the womb in one of the fallopian tubes. 'It was bad enough I was miscarrying. But I was also told I'd need surgery to remove the ectopic pregnancy,' says Penelope, a primary school teacher.

'While this could damage my fallopian tube or ovary, he reassured me I could still become pregnant again with just one fallopian tube.

'Having another baby was all that mattered to me. It never occurred to me that, within days, I'd go from worrying about getting pregnant again to fighting for my life.'

Prior to the scan, Penelope had dismissed her persistent bloating as pregnancy-related.

'Although I was only seven weeks pregnant, I looked as if I was three months,' she says. 'I now know this can be a symptom of ovarian cancer.'

The following day, Penelope was back in hospital for keyhole surgery. 'Poppy had chickenpox, so Alastair couldn't even come into the ward with me,' she says.

After she came round, the surgeon arrived at her bedside. The good news was she still had both ovaries and fallopian tubes. The bad news was he'd found a tumour on her right ovary.

The surgeon's next words left her reeling with shock. 'It doesn't look like cancer, but I've sent the tissue off to be examined in the laboratory just in case,' he said.

'It never occurred to me that, within days, I'd go from worrying about getting pregnant again to fighting for my life'

Penelope recalls: 'I was shaking when I rang Alastair, but he was typically calm. And by the time he arrived at the hospital, he was a walking encyclopedia on the subject of ovarian cancer, having scoured the internet. He kept reassuring me that ovarian cancer is extremely rare in women under 50.'

In fact, 10 per cent of cases are women aged under 45.

Nine days after her operation, Penelope and Alastair were in the oncologist's clinic listening to the worst news of their lives. 'I knew the second I walked in the door,' says Penelope. 'The oncologist would not establish eye contact. Then she said the dreaded word "unfortunately".

'Alastair had been so confident, he went into shock. We just sat there, held hands and cried.'

As Penelope battled to come to terms with the diagnosis, she found herself agreeing to a radical hysterectomy, which included removing both ovaries. There would be no third baby.

'It had seemed so important, but now it didn't matter,' she says. 'I just wanted to survive long enough to look after my babies. Poppy wasn't even three, and Austin was barely one.'

Penelope had the operation six days later. Her parents flew in from her native Australia to help with the children. Meanwhile, she faced an agonising two-week wait to see whether the cancer had spread.

Ovarian cancer spreads fast. The majority of women aren't diagnosed until it has advanced to stage three, when it may have spread to the lining of the abdomen, bowel and the aorta.

About 10 per cent are diagnosed at stage four, which means the cancer has spread outside and inside the abdomen. Only 15per cent of those diagnosed at this stage survive for five years.

'I wasn't afraid of dying, but I was frightened of leaving my family behind. I was terrified my children wouldn't remember me or understand how much I loved them.

'I cried at the thought of them not having me as their mummy. Even if I could live for only five more years, it would give them memories to hold on to.'

But the news was good. She had stage two cancer. Cancerous cells had spread throughout the uterus and into the abdomen and other ovary, but they had not spread into her lymph nodes or other organs.

The oncologist believed her tumour had probably been growing for no more than six months. If ovarian cancer is diagnosed early, survival rates are good: cases caught at the earliest stage have a 90 per cent survival rate beyond five years.

'For the first time, I felt positive,' says Penelope. 'I knew what I was dealing with, and I was determined to beat it.'

Five weeks after her surgery, she began the first of six sessions of chemotherapy. The worst part was losing her long red hair. Rather than see it fall out gradually, Penelope asked Alastair to shave her head.

'I just wanted to survive long enough to look after my babies. Poppy wasn't even three, and Austin was barely one'

'Poppy must have sensed I was upset because she lent over and kissed my cheek. Mercifully, she never realised how ill I was. She'd seen the scar on my tummy - it's 15cm long - but I explained that I had a sore tummy and needed strong medicine which would mean I wouldn't have hair for a while.'

By the time her treatment finished on April 1, Penny was too exhausted to celebrate. Since then, she's gradually been regaining her strength and regular blood tests to detect the cancer have been clear.

The blood test - known as the CA 125 test - detects levels of a protein in the blood. A normal woman's should be between zero and 35.

'When I was diagnosed, mine was 74. But women diagnosed much later have readings in the hundreds, even thousands.'

Penelope is aware the chances of a recurrence are high.

'Statistics show there's a high chance of it returning within five years. But I feel I've been given a second chance.

'I've volunteered to be a regional co-ordinator for ovarian cancer charity, Ovacome. When I was having treatment I regularly used their helpline.

'Most of all, I relish every moment with Alastair and the children. The miscarriage undoubtedly saved my life, and I am determined to enjoy every single day.' ( dailymail.co.uk )

READ MORE - Losing my baby broke my heart